47 Meters Down

As a sucker for sharks, I could not help wanting to see this despite the trailer. However, the trailer perfectly sets up expectation for this movie. This movie will be dumb, but there will be sharks. And surprisingly, the movie wasn't quite as dumb as the trailers might indicate. It a pretty straight-forward worst case survival scenario with sharks that actually ends up having some very fun moments. Until the ending, the ending attempts a twist ending that doesn't really need to be there. In fact, the whole disjointedness of that tacked-on twist diminishes what is otherwise a decently fun, dumb movie with sharks. However, the sharks are great. If you like sharks, you'll probably be looking for reasons to like this movie despite yourself, because... Sharks!

C-

The Autopsy of Jane Doe

An excellent cast, excellent directing, a creepy setting and methodical realistic detail paid to the mystery of a strange corpse makes this one of the most effective horror movies I've seen of late. Each and every scare and fright is earned, there's no over reliance on overused techniques with the exception of one highly telegraphed cat. No CG-fests, no over-the-top visual feasts, just a slow building dread that culminates in horror. Suspenseful and riveting, this movie starts strong and only builds from there. Certainly not for the particularly squeamish, but there's no real gore beyond elements of a clinical autopsy. Its best knowing as little as possible about this movie before going in, so I will simply leave it at:

A

The Strain

What a frustrating mess. There's so much good to be mined from the book trilogy it is amazing how the showrunners drop the ball each and every season. While some seasons are vastly better than others, there are the same consistent problems with each. How exactly does one manage to make the story of a vampire/zombie apocalypse in New York (vampbies? Zompires?) a dull and plodding affair? By instead focusing upon uninteresting love triangles between equally uninteresting characters. By casting the worst child actor very possibly in the history of bad child actors. By rehashing the same cliched character arcs season after season for characters who are barely sketched stereotypes. By adding more and more unnecessary subplots and ridiculous melodrama. When this show focuses on the Strigoi apocalypse, hunting and killing vampires, the history of the setting and the machinations of the villains, then there's a lot of entertainment that can be gleaned. Many of the main cast are excellent, highly charaismatic actors who can command the screen and attention, but more often than not get bogged down with lesser material. For the most part, this show looks great and effectively makes the most of a television budget, but unfortunately there's not much on display really taking advantage of it. The first and last seasons provide some respectable moments of television, but for the most part there's better entertainment to be found elsewhere.

C

Sweet, Sweet Lonely Girl

I wanted to like this movie far more. The acting is exceptional, the direction is lovely, and it seems to be building towards something worthwhile. The look and feel of this movie intentionally evokes movies of the 70's with soft lighting and subjects, methodically paced and excellently directed. The lead actresses are genuinely great and their romance while predictable is sweet. There's interesting notions about wealth and corruption at play along with an overarching examination of loneliness. Watching the main character slowly evolve through this film is very naturalistic, and again I cannot praise the actress enough. Unfortunately all my goodwill was shattered with the ending to this film. It thinks it has an interesting twist, and that it makes sense. It doesn't. And all that careful, methodical pacing and slowly built expectation ends up becoming more frustration than payoff.

C-

The Dark Tapes

This is so bad. I made multiple attempts at watching this film and just couldn't maintain any interest. Finally I finally girded myself and ground through it. It didn't get better. There are some ambitious ideas beneath an atrocious script, but seriously. This is bad. This isn't bad because its found-footage or low budget, both can be executed amazingly well when done right. This is the perfect example of doing everything wrong. Bad effects, bad framing, bad direction, bad script, horrible acting. This is just exceptionally bad and all involved should feel similarly.

F

Channel Zero: No-End House

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One of the better surprises last year was the release of Syfy's creepypasta inspired anthology Channel Zero. Last season's Candle Cove turned out to be exceptionally creepy if somewhat hamstrung in the last act over-explaining supernatural elements. Regardless, that series stuck the landing and excited me for future installments. The No-End house manages the daunting task of equalling and arguably surpassing its predecessor in a more ambitious thematic examination of the links between memory and individuality, personality and grief. Slower and more thought provoking than the original, there are less overtly creepy sights and visions while telling a more intimate and disquieting tale. Over the course of six episodes we examine a diverse cast of characters whose personality, demons, secrets and motives are methodically unveiled and deconstructed as they traverse deeper into the mystery of the house. There is no shortage of creepy sights and disquieting notions, but this is not a series reliant on jump scares or supernatural frights. This is a series interested in examining our raw humanity and the terrors within, cementing itself as the scariest show currently airing and certainly one of the better.

A

It Comes at Night

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This movie is far too enamoured with tragic allegories and attempts at literary cleverness. This is a film begging for (and receiving) slathering critical acclaim while never actually presenting something audiences will engage with. Spoiler: the 'It' of the title is distrust and fear, elements that will shatter relationships, break apart families and communities and drive seemingly 'normal' people to commit atrocity. While set amidst some form of vague zombie-viral apocalypse, there is never an external threat in this film, merely the lengths people will go to protect their own. I am certainly not adverse to art-house horror, psychological slow burns, atmospheric trepidation and all manner of artfully executed metaphors, but this is a film with nothing of significance culminating in nihilism that would make Lars Von Tiers giggle. This is horribly unfortunate as the movie is otherwise close to perfectly made on every other front. The direction and cinematography is exceptional, the performances standout, the atmosphere and aura disquieting and extraordinarily well executed. There are a number of truly exceptional shots, and the whole direction infused with surrealistic and dreamlike air, creating a pervasive sense of dread and disquiet that unfortunately never actually pays off. This film is a technically brilliant piece of directing that is marred by the unfortunate need to actually drive a film.

D

Get Out

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An impressive debut film from Jordan Peele, adding to an already lengthy list of talents. While difficult to broadly broach racism and political correctness in these particularly divisive times, I am impressed that Peele never goes for easy marks and assumptions. What he excels at here is creating a sense of disquiet and unease out of seemingly innocuous events. Subtle glances, misguided statements, and increasing social awkwardness contribute to a slowly growing sense of discomfort and unease. I'd argue this is the best executed representation of what microagressions must feel like day-after-day, as the main character struggles to maintain his cheerful demeanor even as it becomes increasingly obvious something is terribly wrong at the core. As things slowly escalate, the tension expertly ramps up and builds brilliantly. Acting and direction is likewise quite excellent, with one notable exception that unfortunately detracts from the film as a whole. There is a character that while understandably intended for comedic purposes and tension easing ends up killing the feel and momentum. For a film that plays with stereotypes and preconceptions, this figure is such an absurd caricature that he almost seems like a refugee from another genre. Additional gripes with the film mostly all come from the last act, as all the careful tension building and atmospheric setup climaxes in a gory free-for-all unfortunately ending rather absurdly. Regardless, this is an excellent and unique horror entry from an obviously talented individual that makes me very excited for his next projects.

B+

Devil in the Dark

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Another technically competent film trying to substitute metaphors for monsters but nowhere near as smart as it thinks it is. There is attempt at depth with blue-collar social commentary, estranged family dynamics, and hints at past traumas, but the script is nigh incoherent with an ending so abrupt and vague I wondered if my video stream had cut without giving me the last 15 minutes. The main character's performance is a standout and reluctantly engaging in defiance of the blandness of the rest of the film. All the technical elements of direction and cinematography pretty polished for an indie film and the sweeping shots demonstrate the gorgeousness of BC. When the film actually gets to its climatic moments, there are fleeting glimpses of a creepy film in setting and execution, but never follows through. As a family drama it is almost passable but as a horror movie it fails and this is one of those films where the director should have earnestly left its creature unseen in the shadows.

D-

A Dark Song

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This is a movie that lingered in my thoughts long after viewing. An intricate depiction of psychologically damaged individuals skirting madness and damnation in desperate attempt to magically achieve the unattainable. The presentation, writing, performances, direction, pacing, cinematography, are all exquisite. This is a gorgeously filmed movie that takes restraint and discipline in each and every frame of its slow-burn atmospheric setup. Some will be turned off by the deliberately slow pace and lack of action, but this is a psychologically taut examination of a spiritual journey and trials. As one with more than a passing interest in the occult, I appreciated the attention paid to the rite and ritual, setup, description and methods depicted along with the mental, physical and metaphysical aftermath. When the creeps and horrors begin, they are genuinely creepy and horrifying. A single scene involving shadows and whispers I found far more disquieting than any other I have seen this year. The ending will be divisive and some might decry the climax, but I personally felt it was earned, justified and a fitting coda to the character's harsh journey. If you have the patience and intelligence for slow, almost art-house horror sparse on scares but thick in amazing atmosphere, tension and themes this film should not be missed.

A

Devil's Candy

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This is a movie for metal-heads and those who like their music at 11. Admittedly, I'm not really the target demographic, but found the film entertaining. The film is very well acted, with the precocious youth being far more tolerable than others of her ilk. There's interesting thematic ideas concerning faustian bargains and the compromises one makes for family. I was actually more invested in some of the quiet character moments between the husband, wife and daughter, as they present a very traditional family unit, albeit in a nontraditional way. I found the writing here sharp, as they examine very different people sincerely bound together by love and family. It is less saccharine than being described here, but effective. The rest of the movie is passable, there are some generic elements and some jaw-droopingly bone-headed behaviors by characters, with law enforcement demonstrating a severe case of plot-mandated stupidity. No real terror or scares but some decent visuals, imagery and atmospheric buildup. On the whole this is definitely a better than average take on the material bolstered by performances and decent writing.

B

The Evil Within

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It is always risky centering a film around a mentally challenged character. If the actor is not up to task, the film will fail and certainly offend. Luckily the actor does a very good job while occasionally straying into the land of over-the-top, but that may be a result of direction. The performance is commendable, the actor inhabiting all manner of unconscious ticks and gestures that give consistent weight to his performance. The rest of the actors are passable, but seem far less invested and scenes between periphery characters tend to drag the movie down. This movie is full of some very interesting visuals and ideas, some of which executed remarkably well. Effects are used sparingly, but to excellent effect creating some truly unsettling visuals. Unfortunately, this film suffers from a lack of script polish that hampers some of the more ambitious notions. There's an intentional surrealism that while often effective tonally severely hampers the narrative. The last act gets a little ahead of itself and swerves into confusion and madness, but still ends effectively. As a director's first film it is quite well done making one lament the tragic back-story to this film sadly more fascinating than the film itself. While flawed, this is an interesting and unique debut effort and recommended for those looking for something different.

B

The Human Centipede 3

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This is not a movie it is an assault. I have seen worse 'movies', more horrible sights, more visually foul concepts, acting, writing, directing, etc. But this... is not that. It is some of that, bad on each and every single front of filmmaking I can think of. But this... is somehow worse. This isn't simply a sadistic, visually foul exercise in scatological perversion... This is an abhorrent, indulgent display of each and every atrocious behavior and notion ramped to ludicrous excess. Misogyny, homophobia, racism, torture, sadism all taken to simultaneously horrific and cartoonish extremes. Its not fun, its not shocking, its not clever, it is simply foul. I will grudgingly admit that the main character's spectacle of pure insanity is an amazing display of maniacal excess and the cinematic equivalent of watching passenger trains derail smearing their cargo over miles, horrific yet somehow stunning to witness. There's a dark hilarity to his performance, seemingly so out-of-tune with the rest of the film I wonder how much was performance and how much is the actor itself. Regardless of brief bursts of fascination, I would not recommend or inflict this film upon any single individual on this planet and wonder what offense I had given to the individual who first recommended it.

F

Camera Obscura

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So, my friend Cameron Burns helped write this film, when he requested I watch and review I was worried this might be a friendship ender. However, I was pleased to find this wasn't bad, and for an debut film actually pretty good. The core idea here is pretty interesting, and I do love psychological horror films. The issues I find with this film is a uniform lack of polish. A little tweaking and tightening on the script would have helped streamline this film and deliver a better experience. The film's mechanics and some elements get muddled, and there are a couple of overused and unnecessary tropes at play (looking at you Mr. '2 weeks earlier'). Visually, the direction is well done, but some places the top compositing and color grading actually diminish the effectiveness of the scenes. This does a good job of portraying the main character's fractured mental state and handles it sympathetically as the movie is working to be a metaphor for PTSD. The main actors are decent, but the rest is a mixed bag. However, flaws aside, this is a decent debut entry that leaves me interested in whatever projects this team comes up with next.

B

Seoul Station

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A companion piece to last year's Train from Busan, this is an animated zombie film that regardless of relentless pace and larger scope is invested in very personal and human stories. This feels like the inverse spectrum of that film, capable of demonstrating humanity's best but ultimately showcasing the bleakest. While dark and a times nihilistic, the film itself is compelling and amazingly well realized, illustrating numerous socialinjustices and making pointed commentary on universal societal ills. The presentation of this film is pretty good, decent quality animation with distinct and unique character designs. The characters themselves are all very well realized, and the story that unfolds swerves and twists in numerous satisfying ways. There is nothing particularly new or unique in its presentation of zombies and initial outbreak/infestation, that can be said of most every other zombie film. No real scares or gore, but this is still a riveting and intense zombie film that naturalistically delivers sharp social commentary while telling very personal stories.

B+

It

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This iteration stands as a decent big-budget horror film while riding the nostalgia wave for all things 80's and 90's. Its a pretty good movie on most fronts, specifically as a coming of age adventure film slightly scarier than most. What makes this adaptation work is the casting of the kids and their shared chemistry and comedy. There are some standouts amongst a uniformly great cast, some of the children get short-changed, but the essential character quirks are conveyed. They banter and play naturalistically, and this goes far to making this film work. Unfortunately, most of the horror moments come from jump scares and big CG shocks but none of it is actually that scary. This iteration of Pennywise is genuinely unsettling, but a little too fond of jump-scares and running at the children gibbering madly. He goes more for shock than scares, and only in the opening demonstrates restraint or subtlety. The opening is actually one of the few creepy parts in this film, and most unsettling moments actually come in similar tension building and backdrop scenes... This director can do quite a bit with just a single balloon moving in a disquieting manner, an unsettling movement in shadows, or a quiet whisper of complicit evil. These small moments are far and few between but they are far more effective than jump scares or CG extravaganzas. Regardless of a lack of scares for diehard horror afficionados, this is a very well done and faithful adaptation of one of King's better novels.

B

Hell House LLC

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So I cringed upon the realization this wouldn't just be a fauxumentary, but fauxumentary leading into found footage. But this... Wasn't half bad... The other half is the acting. The acting is bad. Or maybe its the characters. I suspect both. Which is a shame, because this film manages to actually have some extremely effective scares and one of the better setups for a film of this type. The setting and idea is unique and the film executes creeps very effectively. The viewer is forewarned with knowledge that events will culminate in tragedy, but how it unfolds delivers some genuine chilling moments, and tries to be slightly better than most films of this format avoiding many of the flaws and tropes of the genre. Once the creepy moments begin there is fast escalation and good buildup to a very decent finale. Everything looks good, and most of the elements seem authentic, except for the scripted scenes between actors pretending to be unscripted and some ridiculous moments of character behavior. But flaws aside, this is one of the far better entries for this subgenre and recommended to those not yet exhausted with the format and seeking genuine creeps this season.

B+

Escape Room

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I am hard pressed to think of a single redeemable thing to say about this movie. There was a moment in the opening where I thought this might be good. Maybe because I forgot the subtitles for the foreign language section. Then the rest of the movie began, and was just bad. Bad acting. Bad writing. Bad directing. Bad compositing. Bad effects. Bad ideas. Bad. Bad. Bad. I can only think... Nope. There's nothing redeemable.

F

Death Note

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If you're a fan of the source material, you'll hate this vehemently but if you treat this independently, you might be entertained. I admittedly had some fun watching this, even with the flaws, but I was not a fan of the anime. This film's biggest problem is script and tonal inconsistencies. This feels like 2 movies that have been condensed into one, none of which are given their full due. The acting is pretty good, except for the lead who tries, but is far from great, the other actors around him make his shortcomings more glaring, especially the female lead. The characters themselves are barely sketches of character traits and motivations, shallow and predictable. The direction is a mixed bag, Adam Wingard creates wonderfully colorful night scenes and quite good at creating tension and atmosphere, but his action/chase sequences are muddled and difficult to discern what's going on. His scenes of gore/death are so crazily gonzo, atimes I wondered if he was attempting a comedy. Tonally, this movie is extremely inconsistent, going from horror to sociopath love story, to zaniess and back, often within minutes of each other. However, Defoe's Ryuk is fantastically executed, a death god lurking in the shadowed periphery with malevolent eyes and winning smile. Distanced from the anime, this is a mildly entertaining romp that shows far more potential than the execution allows. Obviously there are sequels incoming, so maybe with some polish Wingard can turn in a better film.

C-

(F for anime fans)

Phoenix Forgotten

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Supposedly this is the best of several recently released movies about the 'Phoenix Lights' incident, which makes me morbidly curious how bad the others could be. This is a paint-by-numbers found footage film that makes similar entries seem exciting, fresh and new. The directors decided the most exciting parts of the Blair Witch project were the long extended interviews with random people, and double down on this sequence, providing both 1990's and present day versions of the same fauxcumentary tedium. The vast majority of this movie is spent on getting to know stock characters through boring interviews who will spend the last 20 minutes of the movie running through dark and unintelligible scenes before brief bursts of bright lights and blurred running. The 'found' footage is made to look like 90's VHS, so it has a built in excuse to look uniformly like crap. This is an unoriginal and poor retread of better films, taking too long establishing a mystery that is not mysterious about characters who are barely sketches in order to provide 30 seconds of blurred motion pretending to be action .

F