Here comes the 8th entry in the Conjuring universe, equally insipid and tired yet benefiting from an entire trove of cursed items, creatures, and inevitable demonic franchise-starters to unleash upon a boring cast. While the titular doll has certainly exhausted whatever initial creepiness a demonic doll inspires, the addition of this menagerie allows this film to go completely wild in the last act, ludicrously justifying reapers, spectres, werewolves, and cursed board games (unrelated to the surprisingly decent Ouija films). While moderately better than La Llorona, this movie is far from good. The hook here is the inclusion of the Warrens, but they basically show up to provide opening and closing framework playing phoned in versions of comfortable characters, simultaneously dispelling any notion that the series could even pretend to still be based in reality. The rest of the cast are a bunch of fairly decent younger actors, burdened with an excess of plot-mandated stupid character decisions and bad dialogue. The major problem here is that nothing is remotely scary, although the imagery and atmosphere of the Warren’s demonic treasure trove is excellent. I might have at some point been fascinated by a series or sequence where they delve into the history and horrors of the Warren collection, but this movie sufficiently kills that interest. The ad-nauseum telegraphed jump scares are boringly rehashed from earlier films, and aside from one or two memorable visuals there is nothing much interesting here. If you are a fan of the Conjuring series, this takes the last vestiges of credibility and gleefully stomps on it, if you’re not a fan this movie will concretely demonstrate why the series should end.
D
Brightburn
The concept of an evil Superman is nothing new, with numerous variants across print, film and television. Brightburn works to subvert the beats of a traditional Superman origin story, but never offers much beyond traditional creepy kid tropes. The director deftly establishes the history of a loving family dynamic before diving into worn ground about parent and adoption fears and strange children. Problematically, the main child never seems sympathetic to begin with, with a sullen stare and petulance oozing from every pore. Elizabeth Banks is quite better, effectively portraying her growing horror as the child slowly morphs from beloved son into something alien and disquieting. Unfortunately, the setup is woefully long and the payoff never quite justifies the tedium, following predictable patterns and formulaic beats. There are gruesome illustrations of horrors a superpowered youth might inflict, but the majority of the time he just stalks menacingly (shades of Superman Returns). Unfortunately, everything is buildup to a non-event, the awaited carnage and destruction one might hope for from an evil Superman occurring offscreen. The credits sequences are a horrible tease, as they hint at the levels of grandiose horror that the trailers implied with hint at franchise potential that hopefully can offer much more.
C
Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark
Any having read this series doubtless remember the terrifying Stephen Gammell illustrations more than any particular story. The movie certainly remembers, attempting to recapture the nightmare visuals and introducing them to new audiences. As it ever was, the imagery in this film is far more memorable than the individual segments, characters or wraparound tale. To Gammell’s credit, even the more absurd images look utterly grotesque and even more horrific realistically rendered, augmented by a strong atmosphere and effectively creepy directing. While the film strongly skewers towards young audiences, there are enough genre treats for veterans to enjoy, though likely exchanging shudder for smile. One can feel a genuine love for the source behind the camera and script; this movie is fun and takes pleasure in recreating the stories behind the disturbingly memorable visuals. It is inspired to set this film in 1968, as the filmmakers broach issues of racism, bullying and politics from a historical framework, deftly mirroring and skewering contemporary issues through a temporal filter. The ending begs for franchise potential, as they simply need to keep repeating this formula through roughly 76 more adaptable scary stories.
B
The Curse of La Llorona
The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
An inverse MCU, each movie in the Conjuring universe appears to get progressively worse. This movie presents a seven film culmination of exhausted, insipid jump scares, discordant sound cues and horribly designed demon ladies. While only tangentially connected to the whole of the franchise, this movie recycles ad nauseam the worst cliches and excesses from each of the previous entries, atop an atrocious script and barely serviceable cast. The actors are fine, they phone in the bad dialogue with a lack of enthusiasm befitting the writer’s efforts. Each beat is a predictable rehash of better cinematic beats, with each ‘scare’ market retested and executive boardroom approved. This film’s greatest crime is to squander a genuinely chilling mexican folk tale to present a formulaic retread without any actual frights or scares present.
For those interested, HBO did a sequence of short animations called Fantasmagorias, and covers the same legend in 3 minutes to far superior chill and success.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YuCNPC19G0&fbclid=IwAR2HjfKgIvKvaE_CulPx48TA5c4Hh1RB0hYB7tO6ZcRzuekl-5n8XUuTM5o
F
Witches in the Woods
This movie lies. The title lies, the visuals lie, the story lies. Past a point, one cannot trust anything this movie is actually trying to present. This mechanism can be fun and clever, were we anchored to a sympathetic character, but this movie lacks anything resembling the type. Each character in this film is drawn to unlikable extreme and the actors seem more suited to lounging in a Gap commercial. The direction is dark and tinted far too blue (it’s cold, get it?) beyond drone shots of winter forests. Most of the limited action takes place inside an SUV, causing some moments of claustrophobic tension, but far more moments of uncomfortable closeups of bad emotions. Each death follows predictable beats because each involves the characters following predictable patterns of ugly and absurd behavior. There might be one effective jump scare, but the majority of ‘horrors’ here are moronic choices and the writing.
F
Overlord
Overlord presents as a high-octane action movie with horrific elements, reliant upon tropes and cliches to shorthand audience expectation. There is blotchy attempt at squad characterization before a harrowing aerial sequence and literally jumping into combat. The movie rapidly shifts from squad-based reconnaissance into an elevated zombie Nazspoitation flick successfully merging genres and tone into an above average ride. The characters are stock, the objectives laughable but villains are suitably horrific and the film plays like an interesting video game. There are some intense moments, mostly focusing on of body horror, but rare scares beyond those of a sudden jump variety. The monster designs are nicely grotesque with plenty of horrible things to see inside eerie subterranean laboratories. The cast is mostly earnest unknowns and every penny saved is literal fuel for copious explosions. Above all, this movie has an excess of production values, looking slick and shiny, gruesome and gory. There’s a nice sense of tension and pacing, but hampered by a predictable last act. Ultimately this film succeeds more often than it founders, flawed but entirely fun and harrowing and makes no apologies for exuberant excess. if you can suspend some of the absurdity this is one of the better ‘B’ movies in recent years.
B
Child's Play (2019)
It is unfortunate the creators chose a remake/reboot to the Child’s Play movies rather than commit their concept to an original film. Held against the original, this is a slightly inferior remake but certainly better than sequels long since degenerated into self-parody. This movie tries to have it all: fan-service in pandering to the look/feel of the original Chucky (down to hilariously bad animatronics), atop a Black Mirror core about technophobic terrors. The filmmakers basically traded one set of hilariously dated archetypes for the modern flavor but the result is surprisingly entertaining. Mark Hamill’s take on Chucky is far more sympathetic even if lacking a lot of the fun from the original. Aubrey Plaza is the best at playing Aubrey Plaza and doesn’t disappoint contributing her unique brand of emotiveness. The connection between mother and son is effectively realized, with the child actor being genuinely good. There is a lot to appreciate in this reboot and definitely a creative glee taken with kills and executions. The ending goes wild and manically fun while unsubtly clamoring for sequels that would likely be a studio mistake. Hilariously, Child’s Play 2019 feels more akin to a reboot of Small Soldiers (1998), with a playfully bleak corporate satire behind horrific events. Overall, a fun if unexceptional film demonstrating remakes can actually have merit..
C+
Pet Sematary
A decent remake of a mediocre adaptation, Pet Sematary is marginally effective. This movie follows a majority of the same story beats from the first iteration while adding its own stamp. Everything about this remake feels like an easy and safe studio greenlight, taking notes from the success of recent King adaptations and turning the bleakness to eleven. You want creepy children, cults, pets, settings, spirals, premonitions, dreams and jump-scares? Check. Most works, although there is far too much of a reliance upon jump scares and discordant sound cues. These techniques seem cheap, especially contrasted with wrenching horror of the subject matter. The power of the story, pulpy and cheesy as it may be, is in how it forces the viewer to confront death viscerally and beyond abstraction. The filmmakers did excellent casting for the daughter Elle and the cat, Church, who deliver effectively freaky performances. Everything filmed looks crisp and clean, with some good location and decent direction with the core horror of the text still resonates effectively. What’s missing, like the reanimated ghouls within, is something akin to a soul or spirit. There’s something lifeless and bland about the resultant product which follows predictable and forgettable beats. To be honest, the entire film is fairly forgettable. At the end of the day, you have the rare remake which surpasses the original (albeit slightly) but still falls far short of the source.
C
Midsommar
Ari Aster’s sophomore effort solidifies that he’s an immensely talented director. Midsommar deals heavily in personal trauma and familial madness but juxtaposes wrenching tragedy and bleakness against a sunlit backdrop of vibrant and verdant landscapes. It is rare to see a daylight horror film, rarer the beauty and color extracted from the glorious scandanavian setting. The level of detail committed is astonishing, with secrets and esoteric embroidery permeating every frame. There is a methodical build, but the film never goes for cheap scares, instead utilizing tragedy, dread and inevitability for the hapless characters. These figures, while oblivious and unlikable, are still written relatably and effectively realized, with natural dialogue and intelligible motives. There is an overcurrent of amazingly well depicted psychedelic surrealism brilliantly aligning with each character’s confusion and disjointed perspective.There is no real mystery or surprise within, the film telegraphs every element through framing and murals depicting events before transpiring. While some might decry the slow build and lavish devotion to minor ritual and moments, the payoff delivers. On the whole, a film that excels not merely at being a pagan horror movie, but as an intimate portrayal of relationships gone toxic and sour.
B+
Hoax
There are very few good Bigfoot films and Hoax is no exception. This is bad. It starts bad, with a dim premise and woeful motivation then continues to degenerate from there. The production values seemingly waver between late 90’s midnight grunge house and pornhub originals. The cast are all over the place in terms of their acting quality, averaging at passable but skewing over-the-top. The direction is amateurish and the project lampshades its own miniscule budget and production woes. If the script had gone more meta with some of its humor, this might have been more passable. Instead, this film becomes more of an ordeal to watch. There is a slightly interesting last act twist that swiftly veers into torture porn. Unoriginal, uninspired, and unrecommended.
F
Channel Zero - The Dream Door
The fourth and lamentably final season of Syfy's excellent horror anthology is still the highest quality television horror in decades, though slight comedown after the high bars of seasons past. Where other seasons presented a surreal ambiguity to events, Dream Door answers its mysteries rather prosaically. By episode four, the story boils down to creepy superpowers, complete with an extended training montage. Admittedly, there are fascinating layers to how the powers work, as the manifestations are embodiments of the character’s drives wrapped in the shell of their demons. However, there's a cartoonish quality to later conflict scenes, in which copious milky blood substitutes fail to evoke much of a visceral reaction. Horrific elements end up feeling sanitized and somewhat neutered. These complaints are offset by an unnerving performance from Twisty Tony, playing the rubber-limbed acrobat/mime Pretzel Jack: a fever dream vision of a homicidal cirque du soleil performance. This performance is alone worth the price of admission with the remainder of the cast also excellent and thoroughly committed. What makes Dream Door, and the whole of Channel Zero, excellent is the level of rich and nuanced writing. Under the horrific visions and grotesque monstrosities lie strong metaphors for mental illness and trauma the damage wreaked upon lives. The levels of deep characterization and strong writing cement why Channel Zero consistently delivered and will be thoroughly missed, however maybe now creator Nic Antosca can deliver projects unfettered from the limitations of television standards.
B+
I Trapped The Devil (2019)
A slow and bleakly claustrophobic thriller, this film does the best with intimate scope and small spaces while suffering for a languid pace. The setup evokes a twilight zone episode, The Howling Man, but on a more intimate level. Nothing in this movie will subvert expectation, but the stark visuals are memorably framed. There is a visible affinity for 90’s horror, but the movie never stagnates in nostalgia, instead focusing on building its own paranoia and tone. The film is rather effective at this, with excellent sound and sets augmenting an intense mystery and character breakdown. The director demonstrates a keen visual eye the capability of building and establishing strong creepy atmospherics. Unfortunately, while successfully building strong dread and tension, the movie takes far too long to capitalize, dragging on and seeming indefinitely. Where the movie is more focused on tight moments and mental turmoil, the cast is quite good, but the payoff doesn’t quite satisfy. Other than some memorable visuals and some quality performances, there is little to complement other than a promising start to a hopefully enduring career for all parties involved.
C
The Wind (2018)
The frontier is a neglected setting for horror, but a terrifying period even before the possibility of demonic influence. Focusing on the plight of a woman left behind to tend the homestead, The Wind does a brilliant job illustrating isolation with vast landscape and empty distances gorgeously rendered in stunning shots. Methodical and character focused, large stretches of the film focus on a daily grind of frontier life. The main character is constantly combating the isolation and alienation of the frontier and a pervasive whisper of threat. This film is experimentally constructed, jumping non-sequentially through flashbacks that slowly reveal nuances of the backstory. The build escalates nicely with each ending with increasingly intense and haunting nighttime visitations. The main actress delivers a powerhouse performance, low in dialogue but heavily emotive and physical. The resolution takes numerous twists, somewhat predictable but effectively executed. Highly atmospheric and amazingly acted, worth a watch for those who can tolerate psychological horror at a low boil.
C+
Braid (2019)
Braid is a Vogue photo-shoot masquerading as a film with pretentious aspiration towards substance. It is a gorgeous locale with damaged, pretty people playing games of dress-up while psychedelically intoxicated. Somewhere the director believes they have made a layered, lynchean film about psychosexual codependency and psychosis, but that’s cover for indulgence and incoherence. Nothing remotely makes sense, ‘twists’ veer into absurdity and the exercise is deliriously style over substance. It is telegraphed not much of the character’s perspective is trustworthy, so the idea becomes to outlast the obfuscation in hopes of some worthwhile payoff. Any such expectation is likely to disappoint. To their credit, the actresses deliver quality performances and the camerawork is often well done. The disjointed nonlinear story certainly conveys confusion and dissociation with admirable aspects to the kinetic camerawork and the excellent use of lighting and color. Unfortunately, for all the quality ingredients going into the construction of this film, the lack of quality in the script fails them all.
D
Haunt (2019)
One of the better holiday themed releases this year, Haunt takes a little time in setup but then delivers some hardcore tension and thrills. This movie plants early seeds, lulling the viewer into an easy zone of comfortable expectation before upending those expectations and escalating hard. While the characters begin the night having fun and thrilling experiences there is an ominous tone and threat. The initial build is spent waiting for the characters to wake up to their plight with the rest of the movie becoming an unrelenting and tension filled hunt. The direction is fantastic aided by a lean and layered script, fantastic sets and convincing practical effects. The characters are your typical college aged horror group, but likable enough and creatively handled, spearheaded by a sympathetic lead. There is not a huge amount of gore but plenty of brutality and implication. Haunt offers nothing particularly new or original, but builds off numerous threads to deliver quality thrills from practical effects and nicely depraved villains.