Halloween Ends (2022)


What?
11 films in, with one exception, the focus has been upon ‘The Shape’ Michael Myers (Halloween III being an underrated divergence from the slasher formula). Imagine the surprise of moviegoers sold on ‘Michael vs. Laurie: the Final Battle!’, to instead be treated to the tale of Corey, aspiring Michael Myers fanboy. After an unintentionally hilarious opening sequence setting up Corey’s backstory, we return to the present to spend some time getting to know Corey better. Corey is sullen, moody and utterly unlikable, and far too much of the film’s focus is upon him and what feelings he brings up in Laurie Strode. Jamie Lee Curtis is as good and committed as ever to this character, however the script is not always kind to her in terms of intelligence. To be fair, the script demonstrates very little as a whole. Michael does eventually show up well into the movie's runtime lurking around, seemingly bored. Corey inspires Michael to action and it's off to the rushed final battle, which while admittedly tense, is also brief and unsatisfying. The latter certainly applies to this whole 2018 ‘Laurie Strode’ trilogy and its hodgepodge of bad ideas. Most of the kills in this one are recycled, although there are one or two more creative moments. This film uses a ‘closing’ montage to indicate this is the end of the series, for which one should breathe a sigh of relief. Slightly better than ‘Kills’ far worse than the 2018 film, let us sincerely hope this is the last trip to Haddonfield.

D-

The Changed (2022)

Someone convinced Tony Todd to cameo in their home movie, and they attempted to splice an alien invasion film around it. To be fair, he acts the hell out of this performance, and earned every penny of whatever woeful paycheck this movie might have budgeted. Everything from the acting to the catering appears to be amateur hour. There are no effects, no scares, no horror beyond a disquieting existential notion of having your will usurped by ‘the changing’, and some poor attempt at allegory for groupthink and cult mentality. There’s a long of boring conversations to make up for lack of action, and few in the cast are up to bouts of extended acting. On the whole, there’s little to recommend here beyond Todd’s committed performance, and the scariest thing this film has to offer is a gross lingering suspended droplet of saliva in the aftermath of a slow-mo kiss.

F

Antlers (2021)

A long in development adaptation of The Quiet Child, by the writer behind the lamentably canceled Channel Zero, the results are somewhat mixed. Like most short story adaptations to feature length, this movie suffers some issues of pacing and bloat in its setup. This movie expands the story into a wider mythology that works for the setting, but a concept rather exhausted in popular media. This film is dark and cold, daylight is cast in perpetual blue-gray, surrounding forests are dark and foreboding, and the human element weary and unwelcoming. There is a sense of decay that permeates the community here, buildings are weather worn and machines rust poxed, and the toil seems apparent upon faces of the townspeople, down to the children. Speaking of which, the child actor Jeremey Thomas is a marvel, a child wearing burdens and torment behind wide eyes and downcast posture. Keri Russel is always phenomenal, and with reliable Jesse Plemons in the mix, the acting is one of this film’s high points. So are numerous moments of horror and monstrous reveal, with some chilling designs and effects. There is a heavy emphasis upon body horror, but there is no shortage of gore and horrific sights once the last act’s rollercoaster begins.  Unfortunately, scenes filmed indoors or at night are dark enough to approach vantablack and reduce effectiveness in scenes, including the finale. The film’s ending is fairly bleak, hinting at bleakness to come, but it feels almost like simply another burden the long beleaguered characters must endure. The filmmakers are not subtle about their allegories for generational trauma, the opioid crisis and blue-collar suffering, and perhaps the only message they can leave us with is one of vigilance for patterns of the next cycle.

B-

Men (2022)

Even by studio A-24 standards of the metaphorically and symbolically excessive, this is one of the more surreal films out there. If slow-burn arthouse folk horror strikes your fancy, this movie will serve rather well. The pace is leisurely and languid and intended to showcase lush landscapes, gorgeously filmed and almost magical, with greenery permeating each inch of the frame. Contrasted with nightmarish lurid red hues of memory and tragedy. Not a lot happens for a solid duration of runtime as the main character is slowly coping with traumatic events and echoes, after a while encountering increasingly strange visitations. It is impossible to discern how much of what the main character is seeing or witnessing is real or mental tricks. The filmmaking is purposefully ambiguous and she seems not to respond to unsettling gleering from faces wearing the unsetting visage of Rory Kinnear, including superimposed upon children in uncanny ways. As things proceed, events escalate and the visitations begin to manifest primordial and archetypal until our protagonist is confronted with strange manifestations of allegory and myth. The last act will certainly prove divisive and mind-bending with a grotesque finale which may baffle but will certainly linger in one’s mind. It's the kind of film for people who felt Mother was clear and unambiguous. Alex Garland is without question an astounding director, wielding color and visual symbolism as active components of narrative. He films surreal and dreamlike sequences that will feel almost disjointed from time and reason itself, and gripping scenes of increasing paranoia and threat. There exists already legion of dissertation and dissection of the elements within, so needless to say this is dense and thought provoking. Whether it is successful at conveying its messages is extreme audience subjectivity, the movie's pace, burn, messages and reveal are equally divisive and likely alienating, but irregardless the filmmaking is exquisite.

C+

Firestarter (2022)

Absolutely unnecessary and unworthy in execution. The 1984 original or novel are far from sacrosanct, with many elements worthy of an update or reskin but this movie barely tries. Instead it rehashes most of the same beats as the original, expanding and elaborating on the least interesting aspects. Zac Efron seems to be trying his best, but not served very well by the material, and while the new Charlie is not bad, there are few child actors to match the charismatic talent of young Drew Barrymore. Most of the cast feels bored, as will most viewers, as the movie slogs through tedium. The production values are decently budgeted, but there’s not much to be excited about CG fire and a screaming little girl. There are very few frights, but there are some scenes of animal torture that will certainly bother some. The followup ‘lessons’ are mudding and misguided at most generous, and the final act bewildering. Considering the budget, time and talent, this studio farce seems far more egregiously bad than the worst of independent failures and should be an object lesson for all involved. It isn’t just bad as a horror film, of which, it only tangentially qualifies, it’s bad as a movie. 

F

X (2022)

For fans of the slasher sub-genre, this movie is a throwback treat to the 70’s splatter/exploitation era. The period look and feel is pitch-perfect, instantly conjuring to mind films like Texas Chainsaw and the Hills Have Eyes. The setup is unique with layers of meta-commentary at play on the nature of stardom and aspiration, the desire to make ‘elevated work’, and the short window before beauty fades. Performances and characters are all thoroughly well developed and detailed, and the main roster are all surprisingly likable. The small cast and slow build allows the audience to get to know and understand the characters in depth, with strong performances all around. Mia Goth plays dual roles, one of which under some questionable prosthetics, but allows her simultaneous restrained and gonzo performances.Ti West’s enjoyment and satisfaction working with her led directly into him writing and directing a prequel film Pearl released later in the year. The film takes quite a while for the action to kick in, instead indulging some almost languid pacing and setup, and certainly a test for one’s patience. However, once the deaths begin the pace quickens and provides quite the satisfying escalation.  The movie takes pleasure in spitting in the face of expectation while delivering gory kills, even if the majority feel like stapes of the period genre. There’s twists and turns, but nothing comes across particularly startling, and there’s certainly a lot of predictability to proceedings. What qualifies this film as A-24 fare, is that it examine the genre and era’s subtext about sex and taboo and drags it to the forefront. Subtext becomes text and primary motivator behind the characters and gore-splattered events. Whether one enjoys this film will be entirely contingent on one’s appreciation of the period flavor and sexual focus. Ultimately, X doesn’t seek to reinvent the genre, and isn’t quite as clever as it aspires to be, this is not a successful execution of the ‘elevated’ filmmaking the characters aspire towards, but provides a unique flavor to a classic format that’s certainly worth a look.

C+

Hellraiser (2022)

Despite its endurance, Hellraiser has not been a winning franchise. Of ten films, one is good (Hellbound), maybe two are decent (Hellraiser, Inferno), and the rest span the gamut between painfully average (Hell On Earth) and actively atrocious (Judgement). However the iconography has infused itself into public consciousness, with few unaware of Pinhead and evil puzzle boxes.The reboot has been long in gestation and discussion, swapping hands, creative teams, and studio dissolution to finally arrive on Hulu… Pretty damned successfully. 

Structurally, this film amalgamates elements from first two films and original novella into its own idea. It's the rare reverent reboot willing to homage to the source, while reinventing and expanding the mythology into something new. Purists may quail, gone is obsession and desire as keys to opening the gates, now victims are marked by blood and targeted. The cenobites preach a slightly different gospel and operate under different rules, but the basic principles remain. Direction and art designs are praiseworthy, from opening scenes of debauched high society, a mansion seemingly designed and patterned to be one of boxes, to the cenobites themselves. Their redesign is one of the best aspects to this reboot, terrifying and ethereal, luminescent and bone-pallid, presentation repurposed from flesh itself. The new Hell Priest is excellent, alien and unfathomable with undeniable presence and subtle tweaks to make a superior design and worthy successor to Bradley’s Pinhead. 

There is much to praise. Phenomenal are the moments heralding cenobite arrival. Each is infused with exponentially building dread, the framing of each shot maximizing tension and darkness before the landscape shifts and repatterns itself into ominous doorways and labyrinthine corridors. One scene is a particular standout, as the cenobites pursue a moving target, relentless and creative. The sound direction being the subtle MVP for many scenes, as low bass and ominous creaking of the shifting landscape enhance the tension and maximizes each approach, echoing footsteps down long corridors to the sounds of clanking chains. Some cenobites growl, some chatter, some ooze, others rend or pierce flesh, the rare ones speak, but each is distinctive and identifiable. Even background mixing perfectly balances soundtrack dialogue and effects, and subtly contributes to an excellent cinematic experience.  

The horror is great, delivering tension filled suspense, cringe-worthy gore, and terrifying antagonists.  What is not so good are the human characters, who exist as bland and blank templates for delivering character backstory and cursory motivation. Some are barely defined sketches with ‘the roommate’ being especially egregious. The main character is unlikable and unsympathetic, and while her character arc and progression serves as an allegory for overcoming addiction, the audience never really finds a reason or rationale to empathize with her. The last act of reveals and twists gets a little zany, and diminishes the active threat of the cenobites, but on the whole, this is a refreshing and welcome reboot of a long suffering property leaving one eager to visit more tales and torments set in this framework.

B

The Cellar (2022)

This is an extended version of the director’s short film The Ten Steps, and recommended one watch that instead. A tightly told and simple short is now bloated into an sprawling narrative involving alchemical mathematics, mysterious stairways, and demon entities named Baphomet. If you recognize the ridiculous nature of that last statement, then you might be actually amused by what follows. Everyone else will likely roll their eyes. The movie feels like three different films thrown together, one of which is actually fairly decent, one forgettable, and the last a deep staircase into the deeply dumb. The big mansion is spooky, there are great visuals and ominous scenes, and the setup is a slow build supernatural mystery. However, what becomes glaringly apparent, is that the parenting skills of the main characters are far more horrific than potential demonic visitation. They ignore, neglect, and on occasion actively work to put their children in mortal peril. The script has some decent potential, but the execution is pretty bad by an entire troupe of over-actors and annoying children. While there, are some interesting practical effects involved, but the main entity looks so bafflingly bad it makes the subsequent scenes hilarity, like fights on a bad 80s tv show. The last act is hectic and rushed, but ends with a pretty brutal reveal that plays off like a love letter to Fulci film. On the whole, there is not much gore and little action, just a lot of build and playing off traditional haunted house tropes. On the whole, while bookended by amusing concepts and a strong ending, this movie is pretty weak and more amusing than terrifying.

D

Monstrous (2022)


The standard monster as metaphor, substitute as you will: grief, mental illness, abuse, trauma. This poor mother has it all, pursued and seeking refuge with her son in an isolated home far from civilization near a spectre inhabited lake. She is; of course, of sound mind and reasoning, and the increasingly menacing visitations and periods where she blanks out completely are all probably attributable to ‘the vapors’. The 1950’s aesthetic plays into themes of domestic entrapment and projection of an idealized existence behind crumbing façade. It is a film whose success hinges on multiple last-act twists, most heavily telegraphed, and the last nonsensical. The execution is good, and looks pretty, but breaks down under scrutiny. Mostly a one woman show by Christina Ricci, she is quite convincing in what is an otherwise bland and predictable script. The production values are decent, and competently directed, but this film is too derivative of better films. Unfortunate, as the creature designs and scares are decent, and there could be a better film here. The metaphors and machinations behind the last act reveal could be far more impactful if not utterly predictable. The writing is unfortunately cliche-prone, the dialogue somewhat stilted, and the mysteries far more ambitious than warranted. On the whole, some might be entertained by the performance and enjoy the twist, but ultimately this feels like an empty shade of a better film.

C

Glorious (2022)

A lovecraftian god behind a rest-stop gloryhole does not sound like a premise to take seriously, yet this movie does an admirable job of blending the sincere and absurd. Ryan Kwanten provides a strong performance, and bounces off vocal maestro JK Simmons with comedic ease. This movie delivers on the more campy side of gore, but the subject matter goes surprisingly dark and often descends into bleak. This is balanced with constant moments of hilarity with much of the comedy coming from the Simmons deadpan delivery of the outlandish. There are a couple of comedic beats that will be very hit-or-miss, and certain parts skew a bit juvenile, but very inline with the overall tonal balance. The action is mostly restrained to the one location, a squalid truck stop bathroom, but makes pretty fantastic use of its limited space. The entire location feels dirty and one can imagine the microcosmos of bacterial flora adorning every surface. The colors and practical effects are colorful and often disgusting, with some unique things done with lighting and liberal use of the trademarked ‘Lovecraft Magenta’. Unfortunately the CG effects aren’t quite up to the cosmic ambition of its premise, but there are some creative moments of exposition and visual storytelling that overcome some flaws. Unfortunately, the film is far too long, and tonal shifts near the end come off a bit jarring. The overall nature of this is not one that will appeal to everyone; however, for genre fans and those willing to take a chance with the outlandish nature, this movie will very likely entertain and amuse.

C+

Resident Evil (Series ) 2022

Who is this series targeted for? Certainly not for fans of the game IP, this bears little connective tissue with the source and reinvents what little it has. Certainly not for fans of the film franchise, although this series comparatively elevates those into cinematic paragons. Certainly not for fans of horror, as there’s nary a scare to be had and what little blood or body horror this series presents is sanitized and cartoonish.  Certainly not for fans of zombies, as they are woefully absent from the majority of episodes, ditto the various franchise abominations. Certainly not for fans of good or well executed writing, although if you like tweenage drama and insufferable characters, there’s an entire timeline of CW content waiting for you. Perhaps fans of Lance Reddick? He certainly is the best this series has to offer. He elevates every scene present and seems to be sincerely relishing the camp extremes his role has to offer. Beyond this, this series is so bad it comes off as parody, substituting cringing for laughter (although the scene where evil pharma reps discuss global zombification vs targeted drug release dates is absolutely, if unintentionally hilarious). Welcome to Raccoon City should have been the low bar for the franchise, yet somehow this series shatters the lowest expectations delivering a vapid and vacant product emulating the mindless nature of the woefully absent zombies. Even the most die-hard of franchise completionists would be well advised to avoid this excrement and I would not inflict this upon any possessing actively firing neurons. Thankfully this series will not be given a season 2. Informed franchise fans should continue to follow the CG releases and continue to exist baffled as to why this property has proven impossible to translate into a successful cinematic experience. 

F

Smile (2022)

Congratulate the movie executive whose eureka moment conceived a cursed entity existing to inflict jump scares. An amalgam of Ringu curse variants, there is certainly something creepy about the rictus grinning apparitions and how they begin insinuating themselves into different corners of the cursed life. The director makes excellent use of framing, dark doorways and corners, and shadows in otherwise mundane scenes, where inevitably something horrible is grinning and waiting to attack. There's a bleakness that suffuses much of this film, and the director captures darkness and dread quite effectively. Make no mistake, this is a mean entity, existing as a constant barrage of psychological assault and torment, alienating and isolating the victim before shattering their minds and driving them to commit atrocity. However, beyond an extremely grisly opening death, the majority of the curse plays out as alternating jump scares and menacing apparitions on pretty quick rotation. One can sympathize with the main character, as the constant assault of recycled scares begins to wear down and exhaust. There might be a studio mandated formula for the timing as they all seem to execute in the same pattern and sequence. As with the curse itself, there’s predictable inevitability to how each trope plays off onscreen, from pets, to the main character’s flashbacks to the twists and turns of the last act. This film aspires to have something relevant and poignant to say about trauma, mental illness and survivor’s guilt, but rarely scratches beyond a surface level. Which is a shame, considering the entity is literally a trauma monster. There are clever concepts and ideas behind this, some executed better than others, and your milage may vary as to what message is conveyed with regards to the treatment of mental health. Arguably the entity’s reveal is an illustration of how traumatic recollections distort and twist memories and recall into grotesqueries, but the film’s depiction comes across unintentionally goofy and gross. While derivative and utterly predictable, the film is certainly well polished, well acted, and he concept and visuals are unsettling and jarring enough overcome these flaws which hopefully can be addressed in the inevitable sequels and franchise to come.

B

The Black Phone (2022)

A fantastic adaptation of Joe Hill's story, Scott Derrickson reteams with previous collaborator Robert Cargill and actor Ethan Hawke to deliver another taut and effective supernatural thriller drenched in 70’s era-specific true crime aesthetics. One key to success is lack of bloat, it feels like there are few wasted instances, and most every line and setup rewarded with eventual payoff. Enhancements to the brief story only flesh out some background information, but mercifully resist adding unnecessary baggage. The antagonist visitations are surprisingly infrequent, but each is intense and mesmerizingly portrayed by Hawke through voice and physical mannerisms alone. There are no actual origins or answers given about the grabber, but we learn the names of each and every victim, perhaps commentary on serial killer fetishization. There is an element of sensationalism and sleaze behind the sepia tones and re-created 70s era, there is no rose tint to nostalgia glasses here. Instead there are milk-carton faces and tv updates of ongoing investigations playing to the sobbing households of abuse and neglect. The life of kids is portrayed as unsupervised and free-spirited but fraught with violence and threat. Unfortunately James Ransone’s character is so woefully, distractingly disjointed from the rest of the film it detracts every scene he is in and derails the film’s atmosphere and momentum. It is egregiously unfortunate as the character ends up being central to later events, and continues to be the black mark on an otherwise exceedingly effective thriller. Despite this, every other character manages to demonstrate progression and evolution throughout, including the specters of dead victims. Cleverly, the apparitions aren’t visible to the protagonist, likely conjurations of his imagination, but serve to our benefit to better understand and humanize the ghostly figures seeking solace and vengeance. For a film full of child actors, they are all remarkably good and engaging, with the main two sibling duo hilariously believable and dripping natural chemistry. Were it not for the aforementioned glaring flaw, this would likely be the best horror/thriller of the year, as it stands I hope Scott Derrickson’s next project is equally worthwhile.

B+

Watcher (2022)

This movie is dull, with events unfolding at the pace of continental drift. It is a character driven focus on alienation in a foreign country, where barriers of language and custom slowly overwhelm the protagonist. This is well illustrated, through long swatches of Romanian spoken without subtitles, and sequences of the character simply trying to get her bearings at otherwise mundane locations like supermarkets and local vendors. There might be a vampire serial killer lurking about somewhere, but that’d be a welcome reprieve from mononony and slow spiral into depression. The actress is capable, and certainly exhibits nuance and restraint in her performance, but often feels disaffected and morose. She drinks, she tries to make friends, she tries to learn the streets, she’s uncomfortable at gatherings, and she stares morosely out the window at the shadow of a man who seems to be staring intently at her. The first-time direction is excellent, and is admirable at excellently portraying the character’s feelings and situation, but that makes it almost harder to endure. It's gorgeously shot, and should serve as good tourist advertisement for the beautiful locations, but the script never warrants the patience required. There are hints of horrific events and dark conspiracy happening down alleys and around the corner, but barely any makes its way into the movie itself. Instead the real horrors are gaslighting and indifference and toxicity in relationships. The reveal and twist, don’t serve as either, rather banal revelation most everyone in the film makes poor life choices. 

D

Incantation (2022)

This taiwanese film is nicely insidious, with an introduction demonstrating psychological mechanisms behind ritual and magic before inviting the viewer to join. By all means chant along, as the protagonist slowly, hypnotically implores your assistance to save her daughter. Through layered timelines of found footage, she provides evidence of a supernatural curse while slowly unveiling its backstory. The opening salvos are intense and riveting, with the fourth wall breaking genuinely creepy. The majority of scares are designed to be the ‘slow build’ variety, with brief moments of shocking violence, especially near the climax. The film is more designed to unsettle and toy with the viewer’s mind and mostly succeeding, providing an intense experience depending on how much you invest in the framing narrative. Unfortunately things lag in the middle with a sampler of rote scares but the entire film is flavored with enough tantric occultism to provide a refreshing reskin on routine tropes. However, here the movie kind of meanders all over the place, featuring creepy cults, dolls, body horror, supernatural visitation, creepy children, and exorcisms for all. Some of the found footage gimmicks play off as far too scripted, and the usual gripes are found throughout, but the presentation works and manages to deliver a lot of exposition without derailing the flow. There is also a story within a story providing a handful of some of the worst decision makers in film history, but their story ties together many of the plot threads, and they don’t get off easy. Its unlikely the nature of unfolding events will surprise most viewers, but the experience is still quite gripping and the payoff ludicrously satisfying. Despite some flaws, the unique presentation and esotericism make this one of the better horror offerings of 2022, and continuing evidence for asian cinema being the high bar for the genre. 

B+